Help.

I know, I haven’t blogged in forever, don’t even check my last post date because it was forever ago, just trust me. I’ve been BUSY. I am ruminating one, but this isn’t it. But now, I need your help.

Before you read on, just know that if you are from the United States or a fan of team USA in the Olympics in any way, shape or form, please don’t help me*. You’ll see why.

I have a quandary, and I need you to help me out with resolving it.

You know how when your team plays a big game, you believe that all your actions have an effect on the outcome, the sequence of things you do and how you do them, and if your team wins or loses, the responsibility is solely on you? … No? What?

Team Canada plays the USA tomorrow in the men’s hockey semi-final game of the Olympics. Loser gets to play for loser bronze. So here’s my thing:

Do I wear my Team Canada jersey during the game? I know what you’re saying, “Of course you do! Why wouldn’t you?”

Listen to me, there are so many factors that go into this decision that I’ve been driving myself crazy trying to make the right decision, and being the mitigating factor in whether or not Canada gets the gold, because whoever wins tomorrow WILL get the gold.

Here are my variables and circumstances and then you’ll know why this is agonizing for me, so I’m putting the decision to you by vote. Let’s see if by the time I finish this post I can figure out who to include a poll:

  • (Oh my god, I just saw the “Add Poll” button at the top of this window. Problem one: solved! Wicked.)
  • For the first game Canada played I was at work and Carey Price played: no jersey. We won. But we let a goal in.
  • For the second game, I was at work again, but Roberto Luongo played: no jersey. We won, and got a shutout.
  • For the third game, I was at home. Carey Price played, and I wore my Carey Price/Team Canada jersey combo. Canada jersey on top of the Canadiens jersey.
  • We won. BUT it was in OT. And we let in a goal.
  • For the fourth game, I was at work again, and Carey Price was in goal: no jersey. We won. But we let in a goal.
  • Goddammit, it looks like the odds are in favour of no jersey.
  • I really want to wear my jersey.
  • I really want to wear my jersey. Correction, both jerseys.
  • The jersey is dirty. I don’t really care, but I think there’s … tomato juice? on it at the bottom and probably I really should wash it if I’m going to wear it, you know, in public.
  • I hate laundry.
  • I love my country more than I hate laundry.
  • Also, remember: we have a perfect record of when I wore my jerseys that one time.
  • The fate of Team Canada rests on my decision.

So you see. Quandary. Variables. Factors and math and all that stuff I hate!

So internet, tell me what to do. I am totally leaving this decision to social media. Vote below. And Go Canada Go! Go Canada Go!

*Obviously now you know why I respectfully reject your input if you’re our neighbour south of the border. You’re like the liar at the gates of Heaven and Hell in that riddle, you know which one I’m talking about? Where you have to have the perfect question to ask about avoiding the door to Hell, but you don’t know which guy is the liar and which one’s the guy who can’t lie and you have to pick the perfect question? I’m obviously a terrible question asker (see above) and I am truly grateful for your readership; but you may not participate in this poll, thanks, good luck tomorrow, not really.

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Comments

  1. Ah, USA has enough win already. 🙂

  2. I have been sticking to my routine for the games as well, not shaving, only eating oatmeal for breakfast, having a same number of tabs open on my work computer.. to name a few. The boys have come through regardless tho, no jersey(s) or yes jersey(s). I guess my approach is to radiate vibes of relaxation, positiveness and confidence in the team and all they are capable of… but obvs you do and keep doing your thing. Cheers! ps. I voted for ‘no jersey’… it felt right to me.

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