Zoom Zoom Zoom

This one is going to be seriously disorganized.

  • Let’s see if it even gets posted. This domain was “renewed” today using my credit card info on file, and I don’t know how much my credit card company loves me right about now. If you’re reading, I’m in good standing! That always deserves high fives all around.
  • I was in perpetual dire straits where da money is concerned a few years ago when everything was figuring itself out financially-speaking after we became a one parent home. People would call looking for their money and you know, manners get you everywhere. Visa would call looking for my payment, and we’d work something out and I’d always say, “Thank you so much for following up! I hope you have a great day!” and they’d be all, “Oh, wow! Thank you so much!” then by the time they’d call the next month, we’d be old friends.
  • I got a new car. I know! It’s a long story that I won’t get into.
  • So I had a 3.5-hour drive scheduled for the next day to visit my boyfriend who is working at a town, yes, 3.5 hours away. I was about 5,000 km past when I should have had my oil changed, and thought, huh… let’s do that before my big drive. I went to my pal at the Pennzoil place who changes my oil in 10 minutes and never gouges me like Mr. Lube would. EXCEPT he’d been doing inventory and stuff and they were all out of the oil filter for my particular car, which was a Mazda 3 (Sport, in Velocity Red). So I went to Mazda its very own self, to buy a filter so I could get my damned oil changed, which if I didn’t, with my luck, something would have gone horribly awry on my 3.5 hour trip precisely in some remote location with no cellphone reception. Can I have a filter, yes, okay, I’ll wait over here, ho hum. I’m checking out an SUV in the showroom that I covet but of course could never afford. I say covet because I have a big, filthy, hairy animal that sheds like crazy, who sits in the back seat of my hatchback, and no matter what vacuum I use, the hair never leaves except for, by some inexplicable phenomenon, on the garments of human people with the misfortune of having me transfer them to second locations.
  • What? Oh, yes. So I’d been thinking I needed an SUV, to have a place to stick the dog, but who can afford an SUV, and the fuel, OMG. Anyway, the salesman approached me, and I said, “Don’t talk to me. Not looking, waiting for an oil filter.”
  • It turns out that I can afford one! Trade worth more than what I owe, and fuel economy on the SUV is better than on my 4-year-old hatchback. Went in for an oil filter, walked out with a car.
  • Not really. I wanted a red one with a tan interior (to match my hairy dog), and do you think they had one, in the whole of Canada, even? No. And of course I have to drive a red car. The red one with tan, they said, would have to be a special order ALL THE WAY FROM JAPAN. Delivery ETA end-of-August. Hopefully. What! Fine. I must drive a red car, so I will wait, even though it will kill me, because patience is not my thing.
  • ANYWAY. I went back in a few days later, and saw the red one on the floor, live and in person, for the first time. Here’s the thing – it was the wrong red. There are all kinds of red. My hatchback was the correct red. This one was not. It was darkish, like, minivan-red. Which is great if you like a minivan, but I am against them. Oh, god. This was awful. It comes in the wrong blue, too, but I would never drive a blue car. Can you picture me in a blue car? That’s what I mean. I can’t drive a black car, because besides that they look nice for about a minute then show every single fingerprint, every single taxi in Chile is black. I can’t get past it. Like people in Canada who drive a yellow car… taxis are yellow! How can you. Then silver and grey, which just, no. I like to be able to pick my car out of a lineup. I looked at the white. Crystal Pearl Mica. I didn’t absolutely love it, but I simply had no other choice.
  • I got the car the next week and even though as I was signing the papers I was looking at it and thinking, “Why am I not excited? I should be giddy!” I drove it away and in that first minute behind the wheel, I fell instantly in love. I love my beautiful car. And the dog has her own space now! Whee!
  • Two days later, I was driving along in my beautiful car and it beep-beep-beeped at me. Weird. It’s only supposed to do that when I’m changing lanes and someone’s in my blind spot and I’m trying to change lanes, which I wasn’t at that particular moment because I wasn’t driving behind a moron. Huh. THEN a little orange circle thing with an exclamation point turned on on my dash. What the! I pressed the little button on my steering wheel and shouted, “CALL MAZDA!”

“Hello, this is Mazda.”

“Good morning! I just picked up my car on Saturday. It has 180 km on it. And a little orange light with an exclamation point just came on!”

“Oh, that’s not good.”


“That’s your tire pressure light.”


“Is your car driving funny?”

“No!” (Takes hands off wheel, car drives straight.)

“Well, these things are pretty sensitive, so there must be something wrong. When you stop, have a look at your tires. Even if they look okay, you’ll have to come in to have us check the pressure and re-set the light.”


  • So I get to the office, look at the tires, they are all beautiful. Phew. Then I go to work, come down a few hours later, the rear tire is as flat as a pancake. GAAAAAA!
  • Long story short, roadside assistance came and put the spare on, the guy said he’d never changed such a brand new tire, terrific, drove it to Mazda later, they found a huge shard of metal in it, awesome, they fixed it, and didn’t charge me. I’m now 2-for-2 on not paying for tire repairs.
  • The kids are super close to summer vacation, they can smell it. My daughter is graduating from grade 5, I’m going to the little ceremony in about an hour. She is so excited and proud and beautiful in her age-appropriate dress that I was so relieved she liked when we went to pick one. My child is inordinately tall for her age, and a lot of times, 99 out of 100, kid sizes don’t fit her. Thank you, Sears, for having dresses in the girls’ department that go up to age 14! She looks absolutely lovely and I’ll be taking a bazillion pictures. She doesn’t know it yet, but as a graduation gift I got her a Starbucks gift card so she can buy those $9 cups of pure sugar that she loves.
  • I bought a book for my son that’s the beginning of a series, based on what I told the guy at Coles my son likes. I want him to have good books to read this summer so he doesn’t end up just playing video games for two months. He started it, and I asked him about it. “Well, it’s this kid, and everybody thinks he has ADHD and dyslexia but really it’s because he can only read Greek, because he’s actually the son of Poseidon. A minotaur kills his mom, and he takes its horn and stabs it to death. One of his best friends is half horse, the bottom half, but no one can tell because he hides his horse legs in his wheelchair.”
  • I’m totally reading it next.

This was mostly about the car I wasn’t going to talk about, sorry. I had more but I have to go and fight for a parking spot at the school and then a good seat at the assembly. I think you have to get there about an hour early for that at that crazy school.

(I feel like I should also close the loop and mention that I did in fact also get my oil changed that day. The car was awesome on the long drive, but I already hated it because I was looking forward to my new car.)



  1. Hooray! Wait, aren’t SUVs bad for the planet?


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