Victoria Day, Camping, Dreams, Hard-Boiled Eggs & the Centre of the Universe

It’s Victoria Day in Canada so we all have the day off. It’s a beautiful day here in the Lower Mainland, the weekend that kicks off camping season, summer and happiness.

  • Screw that. You’ll never catch me camping. Why yes, I would love to break my back sleeping on the cold ground and be filthy and have to walk 100 metres every time I need to use a bathroom or access running water! Or the alternative, spend 9 hours packing inflatable mattresses and all the paraphernalia you need to live outdoors for 3 days, spend hours setting up camp, spend hours taking it back down, only to come back home and spend 9 more hours unpacking and washing everything that got filthy on the weekend. I mean, how about no.
  • The bf will get me to go camping. He’s the only one who could. Sounds romantic, cooking by the campfire and watching the kids and dog run around. Fine, I’ll do it.
  • There was a brouhaha yesterday on Twitter about how a bunch of prominent Canadians are trying to have Victoria Day renamed to also honour First Nations people, “Victoria and First Peoples Day.” Weird marriage, but I’m fine with it. As long as it falls on the third Monday in May. So I don’t have to go camping.
  • I spent a lot of the day yesterday watching hockey playoff games – well, really I missed the second game on account of even after a million years of living in Vancouver, I interpreted yesterday’s Penguins/Senators game as being on at 7:30pm, which is what the website said, right. YEAH, EASTERN. Good lord. I was on such long weekend mode that my brain didn’t compute that that was really at 4:30 my time. Anyway, I did get to watch 2 overtime periods after tuning in 3 hours late. Why does the stupid East have to make everyone recalculate times. Fine, it was played in that time zone, but they wouldn’t call it 7:30pm if it was one of the California games, they’d call it 10:30. Stupid East and their centre-of-the-universedness.
  • Speaking of the East, and when I say East, I really mean Toronto, it’s been nearly one week since the Maple Leafs had the biggest NHL-playoff-game-7-up-by-3-goals-in-the-3rd-period implosion in ALL HISTORY and lost to Boston in overtime. As a fan of a team, I actually (almost) felt badly for Leafs fans. But come on, they didn’t actually think they would advance to the second round, did they? Yep, they did. Why? Because of youngsters like that Kadri guy being all full of himself and considering this was a “very, very winnable series,” for the Leafs, and that sound-byte reverberating throughout Leafs nation. And because of the so-called national newspapers and networks focussing almost exclusively on that Toronto team, never mind that there were 3 other Canadian teams in the first round to begin with. The hysteria in the “National” Post and the national broadcasts was so unbelievably disingenuous and biased – I say “unbelievably,” but really, it’s believable. The focus on this team that has gone 46 years without a Stanley Cup and routinely doesn’t even make the post-season and finished 3rd in their division and 5th place in the Conference is astonishing, as it is every year. You’d think they’d finished first in everything. It’s all they’ll talk about, and it creates even more hysteria for the fanbase. You can’t blame fans for mapping the parade routes as soon as Toronto even wins a nothing game in the regular season; you can’t blame Toronto radio stations for dedicating their airtime to the Leafs and their starry-eyed fans; but that TSN, Hockey Night in “Canada” and the “National” Post get away with their bias for the Toronto team in Canada-wide broadcasts and newspapers is just… gross.
  • So when, in the waning minutes of that last period in that game when the Bruins were down by 3 goals, and the Bruins obviously looked at each other and said, “Guys? What the actual hell? These are the Leafs. We are the BRUINS. Time to put this one to bed,” and gave their heads a shake, woke up and showed Toronto who’s boss, I was happy. Not for the misery of Leafs fans, because that crash, I mean that one in particular, will haunt them forever; especially for having that carrot dangled so closely, only to be wrenched away, after years of being let down by their team. No, couldn’t be happy about that. Sincerely. What I thought was fitting was that all those broadcasters, analysts and journalists would be miserable. Good. You’re not supposed to be so brazenly biased in your reporting, and having, year after year, the rest of the country have to be subjected to the complete lack of respect by your almost exclusive disregard for any other team. Cheer for Toronto in your mind if you want, but not in a Canada-wide arena. Shame on you. I hope you all cried in your pillows that night. The very image of that actually, genuinely lessens my pain of how Montreal finished the post-season. I have noooooo sympathy for you guys.
  • Know what I hate most about the National Post? Go to their NHL page. Listed in the left-hand column are all the Canadian teams. Toronto is on top. Then Vancouver, Ottawa, Winnipeg, Calgary, Montreal and Edmonton, in that order. There is no reason to this list. It’s not geographical east to west, it’s not alphabetical either by city or team name. Nope, but Toronto is first on the list. Before Vancouver, who finished way ahead of them during the regular season, in every aspect. What irks me the most is they list Montreal second-last – a bigger market than every other team listed after Toronto. Even, perhaps especially, in the “National” Post, the rest of the country has Toronto crammed down its throat. The “National” Post did, however, for once, realize that there were other cities in Canada when they beat that dead horse of a Vancouver riot for months on end, reminding us what a despicable fanbase Vancouver has, with their unique ability to paint other fanbases with with a very wide brush.
  • Whatever.
  • Okay, that was a vent but I really didn’t intend for this one to be a rant! Felt good, though.
  • So I made this awesome green bean salad this week, with a recipe I got online. I cannot explain how delicious it is. I almost became one of those people, tweeting about it and Instagram-ing it, it was that delicious.
  • My daughter has an iPod touch, and she’s on Instagram. She and her friends share photos of food. When we were at the airport on our way to Florida, she conned me into getting her some 9-dollar ice drink from Starbucks. Which she then Instagramed before throwing it away when she was half done. She searched the “Frappuccino” hashtag on Instagram, and it had like 6 million hits, which prompted my son to exclaim, “THIS IS WHY I HATE SOCIAL MEDIA.” Why is Instagram full of people’s food? Seriously. It reminds me of watching that show Happy Endings recently, and when the friends were all worried about how depressed Penny was after calling off her engagement, one illustrated the seriousness by how she “hasn’t Instagrammed an appetizer in like, a week!” It is such a hilarious show… and it just got cancelled. What’s wrong with people?
  • Anyway, I kind of modified the recipe but the dressing has shallots, crushed capers, mustard seed, garlic, white wine vinegar and olive oil and it is HEAVEN. Use French green beans, and let it sit overnight. You’ll die. You’re welcome.
  • Speaking of Florida, it was fun. I was telling my mom after we came home that even after all these years of being a mom, it still surprises me just how much my kids trust me as the Person In Charge. We rented a car, and I had no idea where I was going any of the time, but confidence inspires confidence, and Siri took us all across the state with Apple maps.
  • Yes, Apple Maps. Why does everyone hate it so much? The app took us everywhere we wanted with zero error. It’s brilliant. I gather when it was first introduced it did have some glitches, but none that I experienced. But it’s still the butt of Apple-hater jokes.
  • I just occurred to me. Apple is the Habs of the computing world. Everyone loves to hate them, almost bordering on disorder.
  • What’s the deal with dreams? Last night, I dreamt I had another baby, and he had such long hair that I desperately wanted to shave his head, like they used to do in Chile with newborns. My real-life babies were born bald as cue-balls, so this long-haired baby perplexed me. I woke up before I got to shave his head.
  • I always forget the exact timing of hard-boiling the perfect egg. I know you have to bring the eggs to a boil then take them off the heat, but I always forget how long to leave them in the water before putting them in cold water. When you Google “How to” you get: tie a tie, cook quinoa, make buttermilk, hard boil eggs, and train your dragon. Are these in order of popularity?
  • 12 minutes.
  • The kids have their own cordless phones in their bedrooms now – I’m hoping this will avoid my living room phone from going AWOL every day now. I can never find the stupid phone. I don’t even know why I want to answer it, it’s never for me. These kids are growing so fast.
  • A couple of years ago, I discontinued my land line because I didn’t need it, I had my iPhone, right? But then I thought, what if I pass out from a heart attack one day and the kids can’t find the phone to call 911? And I got the landline back. When I did, the phone company apparently forgot that I was unlisted and listed my name, address and number and I got so many calls from some crazy broad calling about how I’d just won a cruise every day that I had to change my number. That Do Not Call list? Useless.
  • That “passing out from a heart attack” scenario reminds me that I’m turning into my mother, the alarmist who foresees every possible bad event. “You can’t buy an apartment on the first floor! Rapists always go after the girl on the first floor!”

That note is my cue to end this one. What time’s the game on today?


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