The Blue, the Orange, and why I’m like Barack Obama (I’m serious)

I know I said I wouldn’t be cranky this time and I really didn’t want to be. I thought about not even posting this. But. Like the title up there says, this is about anything and nothing, and what it doesn’t say but should, is the opinions expressed here are exclusively my own, bla bla bla. Anyway, prepare to be alienated.

Did you hear? Canada elected a Conservative majority this week. ON PURPOSE.

So ladies, lock up your uteruses, because Mr. Harper is gonna set us all back a few decades and tell us what we can and can’t do with them, if he has his way. He can, you know. He has a majority. The religious right helped elect him, he’s gotta listen.

Also, more good news is that soon the scrapping of the gun registry will make it way easier for more of us to have death weapons, isn’t that terrific? You know, so we can kill people, animals, heck, anything you can shoot, either on purpose or by accident, doesn’t much matter how, as guns are designed for nothing else. Well, OK, they’re also designed for maiming. Hey, remember how Stephen Harper once loved the registry? When he was in the Reform Party? Well, he flip flopped and now he doesn’t like the registry…whatever floats your vote, eh.

And maybe you’d all better book your doctor’s appointments under universal healthcare now. Just a suggestion.

Alarmist? Perhaps. And my emotions are still high, I mean, obviously.

But just as some of our neighbours south of the border freaked out at the mere notion of falling into the dreaded, dark abyss of “socialism” – a highly incorrect term as such, but the bastion of civilization and protection of basic human rights & respect enjoyed by the likes of Switzerland, Sweden, France, etc., etc., etc., – after Barack Obama was elected, I am terrified of the Canada I know being “reshaped” (as promised by Conservative MP James Moore) by the Conservative majority.

Mr. Harper has made no secret of wanting to take us further to the right. His efforts had until now been thwarted by his having a minority government. I have always been so proud of our demonically “socialist” values, and our liberal personality. I cannot imagine a Canada that is set back, but I fear the possibility. I will save my sincere freaking out, however, until Mr. Harper makes good on his intentions. Although, as we say in Chile, I “don’t even believe his prayers,” I do believe he will attempt whatever he has to to set us back. I get the sense from him that he’s been patiently waiting to punish us for our folly and now he finally has his chance.

Just my personal feeling. His vision for our nation. It makes me a little queasy. P.S. I’m feeling opinionated.

Still and all, there’s no other country in the world I’d rather be a part of. And although Mr. Harper achieved his majority, it wasn’t the literal majority of us who actually wanted him. And in B.C., for all the butt-kissing Mr. Harper did here during the campaign, we voted NDP in the biggest way since 1988. B.C.ers weren’t buying what he was peddling. I mean, yeah, there are a lot of blue ridings, but the “orange crush” had a very strong resurgence. It’s encouraging. I remember how Sean Penn, or someone like that but I think it was he, talked about how happy he was when Barack Obama got elected, and that he was happy such a gentleman had been elected President. So no matter what happens here in the next 4 years, we still have an opportunity to change things if we don’t like them. I mean, in 4 years.

Speaking of Barack Obama, here’s why I’m like Barack Obama. I’m serious.

It was in September last year, when Barack was going around the U.S. giving speeches at huge open air gatherings. We probably all saw the clips of him giving the metaphor of digging the Republicans’ car out of a ditch, only to then be asked for the keys back – Barack’s delivery was good, Bill Cosbyish, even. “I don’t wanna give them the keys back! They don’t know how to drive!”

It was a good little speech, illustrating that no matter what he and his administration do, those who don’t like him will never be happy with what he does or how he does it, and they’ll just want the power back.

But it was when he went on, joking but serious, to say, “If I said the sky was blue, they’d say no. If I said fish live in the sea, they’d say no.”

This made me sit up straight. And I was alone in my living room, but said aloud: “Oh. My. God. I’m BARACK OBAMA.” Not to be dramatic.

We all know a contrarian or two. The people who no matter what anyone says, no matter how innoucuos, meaningless, or inconsequential, the contrarian will say “no.”

There is one such individual in my life. It doesn’t matter what I say or how I say it, this individual will argue the opposite. Barack’s statement, after making me think holy crap!, made me laugh. Because the sterling example I always think of when I think of this individual is the time I said, “What a beautiful day!” Innocent enough, right? It’s sunny, it’s warm, the birds are chirping, it’s a reasonable thing to say. I was countered with, “No, it isn’t! There are clouds out there!”

No it isn’t! No you don’t! No you’re not! …arguments for argument’s sake. Responses to things you say that you never even intended as an argument, never thought merited challenge. Over everything. Everything. How exhausting is that? And unfortunately, though I strive to waste as little time as possible on this person, I am stuck with them in my life. Like Barack will never be rid of the Republicans, and would probably faint if they ever said, “yes, you’re right.”

The comparison goes on with this week’s developments with the death of Osama bin Laden. No matter what Barack does, the contrarians will be unhappy and find something wrong with it, twist it, manipulate it to suit their agendas. Gotta be unhappy somehow about how bin Laden was found, how he was killed, and wait – was he even killed? Barack is a liar. A liar! As a matter of fact, none of this is thanks to Barack Obama at all, because he is so utterly useless. Bin Laden’s discovery was thanks to George W. Bush. Of course! Thank you, President Bush! According to Alaska’s Ms. Sarah Palin, anyway. So you know it’s gotta be true.

What a dull existence. Not for Barack, but for the other side.

Like Barack, I put up with my contrarian, and just keep on keeping on. I don’t buy their garbage, know who I am, and live my life. No matter what one does, no matter how one tries to solve problems, or solve the problems of others to the best of their ability, the other side will be furious. So just leave them to their little rainclouds. I prefer the sunshine, myself! And I’ve got a lot of it. 🙂

(No you don’t!!)

Yes, I do.

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Comments

  1. Great stuff Veronica! Harper got around 40% of the votes of the <70% of the population.. Majority in the Parliament, but not inthe country as a whole.
    I am not an Ignatief fan, but I'll quote him nonetheless. When asked about what he thought would be required to assure the resurgence of the liberals: "4 years of a Conservative majority government will take care of that!"

  2. Good stuff Chile!

    On the issue of contrarians don’t you think Bruins fans and the Chara/Pacioretty incident are the perfect example of reality and denial?

    CHeers!

    • Excellent! I definitely do…wish I’d thought of it. 🙂

      • Just a thought on the elections. I believe Harper’s demise will come from within his own party. He will have a tough balancing act to keep his party popular enough to get re-elected and at the same time please the radical right wingers who will be demanding that Harper deliver on their agenda. And if Harper doesn’t keep them happy the knives are sure to come out. All it would take is for only a dozen disgruntled MPs to cross the floor – or declare themselves to be independents – in order to destroy the Conservatives majority. Four years is a long time and I predict there is a real possiblity of this happening.

        Stay tuned!

      • A great point and it will be interesting to see that happen!

  3. See, this is what I like about you: you always have something interesting to say! 🙂
    I wouldn’t worry about Mr. Harper. Campaign rhetoric is often just used to get certain types of people to vote for you. George W. Bush’s campaigns for governor of Texas as well as the US presidency were “engineered” by Karl Rove, who more or less figured out that if you pushed socially conservative people’s buttons by appealing to their values, they would turn out at the voting booths. Any time you have a low voter turn out, the election is decided by who shows up to vote, rather than whether the majority of the population actually agrees with the winner.
    In the end, those “values voters” felt let down by Bush because he largely didn’t follow through with those campaign promises to turn America into a religiously conservative nation. So in the end, nothing really changed. Your uteruses are probably safe from Mr. Harper’s government.

  4. Also he promised to enact a law to spy on citizens by spying the Internet. Not creeping you on Facebook, but literally wiretapping the Internet. You know like in China, Iran, Syria, etc. Within 100 days.

    I wonder if he’ll ban cryptography, ’cause that’s like the Charters of Right and freedom: an roadblock on the way to authoritarism….

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