A Favour for My Single (Girl)Friends

I was just getting ready to tear down all the Christmas paraphernalia that has been pervading our condo since TWO THOUSAND TEN when I got sidetracked by the news of a recent breakup of a couple I sort of know.  I found out she blogs, and she pours herself and her emotions into all of her posts. Raw stuff. She’s brave, I couldn’t do it. I mean I’m very honest here but I don’t ever really tell any of my crap. And oh, do I have crap I could talk about. Don’t worry, I’m not starting now.

Anyway, I don’t know if she wrote this or someone else did, but she posted this:

If he misses you, he’ll call just to hear your voice. If he wants you,he’ll say it.  If he cares, he’ll show it. If he has a thought about you, it will come out of his mouth.  If you are on his mind non-stop, he will do anything he can just to see you.  If he truly likes you, he won’t let anything get in the way and will fight his way back just to keep you in his arms.  If not, he can’t be worth your time because you’re obviously not worth his.

All true, but sometimes it’s easy to forget when you’re rationalizing and decoding his signals and actions. Oh, P.S.: no need to decode guys’ signals and actions. When he says he’s hungry, it means he’s hungry, and so on.

You know Sex and the City? Of course you do. You know how the ladies sit around and talk about their sex lives and the guys they’re dating and talk and talk and talk and talk about what did he really mean when he said or did this or that? You’ve seen that show, right. And the movie, and the sequel? Relax, I’m not asking for a show of hands but YOU KNOW YOU HAVE. Anyway, ladies, at one time or another we’ve all participated in that kind of conversation, haven’t we? About how when he said he was so tired from a long day at the office and couldn’t make it tonight, it somehow always REALLY MEANT HE LOVED US AND COULDN’T LIVE WITHOUT US.

Girls, if you’re on the dating scene, print that quote and put it on your fridge, or email it to yourself, tattoo it to your forearm, SOMETHING. It will add years to your life. It doesn’t get simpler than that quote, I can tell you.  I also don’t think guys are malicious or evil (I mean, 98% of them) and they don’t intend to crush the hearts of the girls who pine for them, pursue them, stalk them, whatever. In most cases they are just way too nice to say the brutal words that need to be heard. But I don’t have enough fingers to count all the girls I know who I wish could have committed the above quote to memory and saved themselves boatloads of anguish, heartbreak and humiliation, and time spent with these guys who didn’t want them.

Also, don’t let the good ones get away. I’ve been guilty of only being attracted to the kind who were no good for me, and being put off by the guys who were adoring (ewwww). NO LONGER. The good guys are good guys, and the ones who don’t want to be with you DON’T WANT TO BE WITH YOU. It’s not that they’re too busy, have too much work to do, are too tired, are juggling too many balls, have too many other commitments, etc. OK? OK. If he wants to be with you he will be, and if he doesn’t, HE WON’T.

Another quote, this one is Chilean but in English it goes: It’s better to be alone than in bad company. Thanks, Mom. That one came in handy for me once or ten times.

So ladies, celebrate you, and devote yourselves to the people that deserve you, and detach yourself from those that don’t. OK? Pretty please. And don’t go actively looking to be in a couple to be complete. It’s not validation. And whatever is meant to be, will be. Being with the right guy is awesome, and being single is awesome too. Just being happy with yourself is key no matter what.

Don’t mean to be preachy. We all know this isn’t where to come for advice. Just had to share.

Thanks Jessy, for the thought-provoking words.

P.S. I said (Girl)Friends because the same doesn’t go for guys. Women say all kinds of things when we mean something completely different. Sorry. I mean, I don’t, but just because I don’t have that kind of time anymore. Time’s a-wasting! Can’t be bothered to encode my thoughts and emotions. Has gotten me into trouble a time or two, but that’s a topic for another post.

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Comments

  1. theactivestick says:

    But wait… what if he’s really tired from a long day at the office?

    • Good question! For starters, not a single one of my guy friends disagrees with this post. I think that once you’re in a solid relationship it’s legit, otherwise when you’re still in the initial dating phase, they’ve ALL said “we’re NEVER too tired.”

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