Crybaby

I never cry. Well, obviously that’s not true, I have cried in my life, but I don’t do it normally, and I always can’t stand it when I do.

In the past 5 years, I’ve cried twice. Once was for a friend who had a devastating loss.  I don’t cry for me. And neither should you, Argentina.

When things get tough, I start strategizing, thinking of next steps, solutions. I’m not a heartless rock, but when people start blubbering over little things, I get annoyed. Are you serious? How is this helping? Stop that, right now.

My grandmother, rest her soul, used to cry over anything. And not always because she was genuinely emotional, she was kind of clever and would turn on the waterworks when I could not accept a third helping at her dinner table. Sob….sob….sob….”You don’t love me.” OK, fine, pass the peas if it will get you to quit. My big brother suggested one time she was actually conducting experiments on us after offering a sandwich an hour after a 3-helping force-feeding. She was staunchly Catholic, of the variety who think Mass is not just for Sundays, and you don’t eat meat ANY Friday, not just Good Friday. The guilt tactic is not restricted to the Jewish, just FYI.

Lately, my Mom also cries and gets emotional over every little thing too. Maybe it’s an age thing. I hope I don’t inherit it. I don’t want to be staring across the table at an annoyed granddaughter.

Nope, crying is not for me. I don’t even cry when I’m really sad. But my thing is also not to get really sad. Either have it out, or sweep it under the rug and get on with it. Jeez! I’ve got stuff to do. No time to waste on this poor me crap.

Someone, or more probably, no one, may have noticed that I haven’t blogged in a while. I’ve also not been verbose or present on Twitter, and for my Twitter friends, you know that that is a rarity. I don’t like posting or tweeting when things are crappy. I get annoyed and uncomfortable with people who throw public pity parties for themselves on the internets. So, if I can’t bring the sunshine or bring myself to be smart alecky, I prefer not to post.

There’s been stuff going on in my life, “grown-up crap” as I fondly refer to it, that’s been building up lately and had me very focussed on it. With grown-up crap that you can’t ignore, and also the requirement to fulfill my motherly duties and perform at my job, wouldn’t you just know, at some point, things come to a head.

And yesterday, the strangest thing happened. I was in the middle of a conversation with a stranger, who had just added another wrinkle to my grown-up crap. And I crumpled. I had no idea it was going to happen, I did not want it to happen, and I hardly knew what was happening. And I started to cry.

GUESS WHAT. I felt better afterwards. Turns out, it’s a form of stress relief. Who’da thunk. I was embarrassed and apologized, but I was better able to deal after I composed myself. I actually Googled it later and it’s true.

I ain’t gonna turn into no crybaby. It’s not me. But that cry…that lasted only a few moments, really helped me gather myself up and soldier on.

P.S. That poor stranger, who ordered me to sit down, got me tissues and a glass of water, ended up fixing things for me in a considerable way. Wee tip of the hat to my beloved grandmother who used crying as a tool.

Advertisements

Comments

  1. Great post Veronica! Sort of timely actually. Much, much “grown-up crap” going on in my life too…. I am thinking I might give the crying thing a go if it seemed to work for you….
    I will let you know how it works out for me!

  2. My mother and grandmother were always more the type “You wanna cry? I’ll give you something to cry about!” They never did tho. Just the threat got it stopped PDQ. I’ve certainly missed you on twitter. Glad to see you back and blogging.

  3. Another great post, love your stuff!

  4. I was wondering where your posts went- thought maybe I was off the RSS feed!
    Hope things are better and that we can meet up for our annual lunch date sometime soon!
    Nice to have you posting again!

  5. *sob*…

    Ah, better. It does work! Now, if only I could remember what I was crying about? Oh yes, we’ll lose Veronica when hockey season starts! 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: